When a woman is pregnant, her entire body changes. Some women notice a distinct spike in desire, especially during the second trimester, while others may discover that exhaustion and aches and pains sap their libido.
That doesn’t mean, however, that you have to give up sex while pregnant! In fact, pregnancy sex can help bring you closer together than ever before. Try some of these pregnancy sex tips to increase enjoyment and connect with your partner:
Tips for Him
Do you have a pregnant partner and want to make sex more comfortable or more enjoyable for her during her pregnancy? Try some of these tips.
Tip #1: Yes, you can still have sex safely (unless her doctor says otherwise).
During a normal, low-risk pregnancy, most women can continue to have sex safely right up until labor. Until her water breaks, what you do will have little to no impact on the baby. In the third trimester, orgasm may bring on some contractions. In fact, when the baby is ready, sex could be just the thing to get things moving. As long as her doctor doesn’t recommend otherwise (usually due to concerns with cervical competence or premature labor) there’s no reason you two can’t continue to enjoy each other in bed.
Tip #2: Experiment to find a comfortable position.
As a woman’s belly grows during pregnancy, finding a comfortable position at any time, much less for sex, can be incredibly difficult! Experiment together with different positions throughout your pregnancy. Keep in mind that every woman will be different: a position that works for one woman may be incredibly difficult for another. Try out some of these positions to see if they work for you:
- Woman on top, in nearly any form. Both cowgirl and reverse cowgirl can put her in the driver’s seat, allowing her to find a position that’s comfortable with her growing belly.
- Modified missionary position, with her legs up and bent. As you kneel between her legs, put her feet up on your chest or over your shoulders to help you keep your weight off of her growing belly.
- Doggy style: have her get comfortable on her hands and knees, then penetrate her from behind. This position may become less comfortable as her belly grows.
- Side-lying positions. Let your partner lie on her side, then penetrate her from behind, allowing you to explore her body with your hands.
Tip #3: Communicate even more than usual.
If you’ve been with your partner for some time, you may think that you know her pretty well, including what she likes most in bed. When she’s pregnant, however, all of that may change. Many women experience increased sensitivity during pregnancy. In some cases, that increased sensitivity may cause overstimulation or even discomfort, even when doing things that have always worked for both of you in the past. Make sure you’re communicating with your partner regularly. Ask what she does and doesn’t like, what she’s up for trying, and what just isn’t working for her right now. The answers to those questions may surprise you — and you may end up with some fun new ideas to try in the bedroom.
Tip #4: Make things easier on her.
During pregnancy, your partner may be incredibly horny, but lack the energy to engage in all the activities it takes to reach orgasm. Make her life a little easier: take control and let her lie back and enjoy, or try bringing in a toy that can help increase enjoyment during sex without the need for physical exertion on her part. Crescendo, for example, adds stimulating vibration, either during foreplay or while you’re having sex. Since it’s fully adjustable, you can easily use it to hit the perfect spots — and with 6 motors, 12 different present vibrations, and 16 intensity levels, you can find the perfect combination for her current sensitivity level (and find it once again postpartum, when her preferences may change again).
Tip #5: Remember that your partner’s definition of foreplay may change (both now and when the baby gets here).
Sure, the pressure, direction, and type of stimulation your partner may like during foreplay may change during her pregnancy and after the baby is born. More than that, however, you may find that your partner’s definition of foreplay starts long before you enter the bedroom. Have you noticed that your partner is increasingly tired or often falls asleep as soon as you fall into bed together, rather than being interested in engaging in sexual play? Pregnancy hormones can make your partner more tired than usual, making it harder for the two of you to find quality time to spend together.
Instead of moaning about how long it’s been since the last time you had sex, get productive! Try taking a chore off her plate. Let her relax on the couch while you handle dinner, even if that means going for takeout. Go to bed (together, of course) a little earlier. In many cases, you’ll find that she’s much more responsive to your sexual overtures as a result.
Tips for Her
If you’re pregnant, sex may have changed dramatically. You may find yourself increasingly sensitive (and increasingly interested), especially around the second trimester, just as your changing body starts to make you rethink everything you thought you knew about sex. Looking for ways to improve your sex life during pregnancy? Try some of these tips.
Tip #1: Engage in sexual stimulation often.
Pregnant or not, one of the best ways to increase your libido is through more sexual stimulation. If you notice your libido starting to drop, you may find that increased stimulation can help increase your overall desire. Try some of these strategies:
- Engage in a little solo stimulation to help get you in the mood. Crescendo can help you lie back and enjoy, with pleasurable vibration delivered exactly where you want it most.
- Put sex with your partner on your schedule deliberately. If you’re struggling to find the time or notice that your mind is more wrapped up in your baby and your pregnancy than in your partner, simply putting it on the schedule can help remind your partner that he’s still the man of your dreams.
- Get plenty of rest throughout the day so you have more energy for sex, especially if you’ve already started sending your partner dirty text messages.
- Change up the time of day when you’re having sex. Try first thing in the morning (at least once morning sickness passes), or slipping away for a steamy session right at lunchtime. A few simple changes in your schedule can help reawaken desire.
Tip #2: Talk to your partner.
If something isn’t working for you — even if it worked in the past — let your partner know! Pregnancy changes the shape of your body, your hormones, and your libido. You may discover that you like different positions or that the stimulation that was perfect just a few short months ago is now a little bit too much. As your breasts grow more sensitive or your milk comes in, especially if it comes in early, you may want to avoid playing with your breasts for a time. Make sure you communicate those changes with your partner so that he can maximize your pleasure in bed even as your pregnancy progresses. This will also help ensure that your connection can increase during this important time in your lives.
Tip #3: Think outside the box.
Sex during pregnancy may look very different than it did pre-pregnancy. If vaginal sex isn’t working for you, there are plenty of other options available, many of which can substantially increase your enjoyment and your libido. Treat each other to oral sex. Bring a vibrator like Crescendo into the bedroom to help increase your pleasure. Lie back and pleasure yourself while he brings himself to orgasm just looking at you. All of those strategies can increase your connection to one another and help both of you feel more sexually fulfilled. This is true even if vaginal sex just isn’t working at the moment.
Be sure to talk with your doctor about what you can safely do as a couple if vaginal sex is off the menu due to medical complications during your pregnancy. In some cases, you may need to abstain entirely until your baby is born. During a normal, healthy pregnancy, however, there are no risks to the baby when you’re having sex. And the extra boost of oxytocin after orgasm can help you feel more bonded both to your partner and to your baby.
Tip #4: Take steps to make yourself feel sexy.
While some women are lucky enough to feel that pregnant glow, others may struggle with body image issues throughout pregnancy and beyond. You may need to ask your partner for a little extra reassurance, especially as your belly grows. (Trust us: he thinks you’re sexy!) If you’re not feeling your best, however, take a few steps to make yourself feel sexier. Choose a piece of lingerie that highlights your new curves. Take some time to pamper yourself: get a massage, have a pedicure, or take a long, warm bath. Do your hair and your makeup. When you feel sexy, you’ll be more responsive to your partner, which will increase the pleasure for both of you.
Note: Here at MysteryVibe, we’re experts in pleasure, not pregnancy. If you have medical questions about sex during pregnancy, be sure to contact your doctor.