What is the power of jealousy?

What is jealousy, and how does it come about to affect us so harshly whenever we become plagued in it’s harsh throes? This emotion that drives us to become green with envy is something that is a common problem for a variety of relationships, even those not of romantic roots. It stirs resentment, stews with anger and greed, and brings about the worst within ourselves, hurting even the ones we care about. But, what is it?

Jealousy, in the secular definition, is the general feelings of insecurities, anxieties, and concerns over a lack of possession over something. This something changes depending on context. For instance one can be jealous of a friend for getting the job you wanted, or maybe jealous of someone else’s wealth compared to yours. In this context, however, it refers to the insecurity that wracks the mind when one’s ‘possession’ of a bond with another is threatened. This threatening can be from perhaps a distance created from conflict, or a sudden change that causes one to feel insecure. No matter the circumstance, the feeling is malignant and causes one to shut down from opening up, emotionally or otherwise.

When jealousy arises in a relationship, it can be expressed unconsciously through many mediums: anger, lashing out, overprotectiveness, unfair treatment, harshness, and more. When a partner begins to start lashing out with negative emotion, it is vitally important to identify it, and communicate the feeling. Being green with envy creates subconscious resentment, which is a spreading crack that can poison a bond, no matter how much effort is undergone to mend it completely once suffered. It is not unfair to feel jealousy in of itself. Emotion is emotion, and cannot be faulted, no matter the person, as we all share emotions and are made all the more human by it. However, it is important to remember that lashing out because of jealousy is unfair in a relationship, and should be addressed immediately when noticed.

Jealousy is a terrible emotion that acts as a scourge on a relationship, however it does not warrant complete rejection either. Each person has felt, or will feel jealousy alongside numerous other malicious emotions that come along with developing emotional experience. Emotions and life in general can be surmised in the infamous phrase of Charles Dickens: “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times”. It is important to realize that it is a necessity, in order to have a healthy bond with someone, to acknowledge the existence of jealousy between the members in the relationship, and that it is a normal behavior. The point at which jealousy becomes unfair, and unkind, is when the person lashes out, acting on it harshly, out of fear.

One of the hardest things in order to do as part of a relationship of all is it learn to let go. When your partner is doing things that they enjoy, or have to do, you must learn to trust them and let them go in order to let them grow. No matter the jealousy you feel, no matter the feelings of anguish and anxiety, you must learn to trust and let them be. Jealousy will cause you to feel as if you’ve an entitlement to their undivided attention, but is unhealthy for anyone involved. Let them live as a person, and you can cherish them upon their return. That is the essence of overcoming the green plague of jealousy: learn to let go and trust.


The Jealousy Workbook: Exercises and Insights for Managing Open Relationships

What Makes Crescendo Different?

Crescendo is different from any other vibrator on the market. When you buy a Crescendo, you aren’t just buying a traditional vibrator. You’re buying one that was created with the unique nature of every woman’s body in mind. This is not another hard plastic vibrator that just doesn’t quite hit the right spot or the right speeds. Instead, it can be adapted to fit the needs of a specific woman, making it the perfect way to bring more pleasure to solo pleasure sessions and partner sessions alike.

Just how is Crescendo different? Consider these important features.

1. Crescendo is adaptable and flexible so it can be shaped to fit your body.

Crescendo flexible

Unlike other vibrators, Crescendo can easily be shaped to reach your g-spot or positioned perfectly to hit your clitoris while still offering the internal stimulation you crave. You aren’t stuck with a single shape that might or might not fit the needs of your body; instead, you can shape Crescendo to you. Want something a little different for a specific pleasure session? Crescendo is easy to reshape. In essence, it’s many different vibrators, all in one convenient package. 

Thanks to its flexibility, Crescendo is easy to use solo or with a partner, during foreplay and/or intercourse. It can be bent and adapted to allow for maximum pleasure and comfort for both parties, delivering vibration and stimulation where you want it most. For the female, Crescendo can be positioned to offer clitoral, vaginal, or anal stimulation during sex. If you and your partner are both women, you can insert Crescendo in both of you at the same time, delivering high-quality vibrations in a way that will maximize your pleasure. 

That flexibility also makes Crescendo ideal for everyone. It’s equally usable for every gender and can be adapted into any shape to fit you, your partner, or both of you together. It can curve into an S shape to hit both g-spot and clitoris, curve around the head of the penis, or deliver anal stimulation, all by simply adapting the shape of the device. It’s a revolutionary, market-changing product that has the ability to change the way you see your vibrator–and the way you use it.

2. Crescendo offers six powerful motors.

Instead of a single motor that powers the entire device, Crescendo offers six individual motors, which means you can maximize your pleasure in every session. Six motors means six points of vibration, all of which can be customized. Want a different intensity or vibration pattern on your clitoris than you do your g-spot? You can use the app to customize which vibration is in which motor, which means you’ll always be able to get exactly the experience you’re looking for. 

Thanks to those six motors, you can also change where the vibration hits and when. Select a vibration pattern that moves up and down Crescendo to ramp up your excitement. Continue teasing yourself or move the vibration into place where you want it most. You can turn off motors that aren’t delivering the experience you want or leave them all active to stimulate everywhere Crescendo touches at the same time. 

Crescendo’s adaptability also makes it perfect when you’re using it during sex with your partner: since you can customize each of the six motors individually, if you have Crescendo positioned to deliver stimulation to both of you at the same time, you’ll be able to offer the level of stimulation that each partner prefers without compromising the pleasure of the other partner. One of you likes it intense and the other likes it softer? Crescendo can deliver the ideal stimulation to either partner at the same time. 

3. Crescendo has 12 preset vibrations and 16 levels of intensity.

Crescendo featuresSome women prefer continuous vibrations at a high level of intensity. Others prefer less predictable patterns at a lower level of intensity. Luckily, Crescendo takes that into consideration. When you use Crescendo, you get plenty of options to customize your session. It’s perfect for creating exactly what you want for a solo masturbation session, then adapting your vibrations for use with your partner. Not only that, you can experiment to discover new things that you like.

Many other vibrators come with relatively limited options. Some offer only a single level of vibration, while others offer one or two intensity levels or pattern changes. With Crescendo, on the other hand, you get a full range of vibrations and intensities, which means that you can find the combination that works perfectly to maximize your sexual pleasure. You can draw it out with a lower intensity and less frequent vibrations, or work your way up to the highest intensity level and a continuous vibration setting that delivers pleasure exactly where you need it most. In short, Crescendo offers the whole package.

Don’t worry, however, that you might accidentally change your settings mid-session. By pressing and holding down both the + and – buttons at the same time for 3 seconds, you can lock Crescendo’s current settings, allowing you to continue with your pleasure session without the risk that you’ll accidentally disrupt your pleasure in a moment of passion or allow something to get in the way.

4. Crescendo’s app allows for a fully customized experience.

The app comes with over 40 additional vibration patterns that you can download, or you can create your own custom vibration patterns. Control it yourself with ease or let your partner control your pleasure by handing over your connected device and letting them take control. They can deliver pleasure straight to your g-spot or prostate or shift vibration to different motors to keep you on the edge and begging for more. The app works perfectly as long as you’re within 10 feet of the device, so your partner can even control your pleasure from across the room, keeping you guessing or adding to your pleasure while also engaged with other tasks. 

Thanks to the app, you can also save the settings that work best for you. With so many options to choose from, it would be easy to forget which combination delivered the best mind-blowing pleasure in a specific scenario. Thanks to the app, however, you can save the combinations that work best for you with a description that lets you know exactly what they were from–and allows you to get back to them quickly!

5. Crescendo is designed to charge wirelessly.

In just 45 minutes, you can have a full charge that will deliver up to 2 hours of pleasure. The wireless charging option means that there are no ports or holes to worry about, and nothing that can interfere with your pleasure or the comfort and function of your device. With convenience at the top of the priority list, Crescendo truly delivers. With two hours of playtime every time you fully charge your device, you can use Crescendo throughout your play sessions or use it to help you lie back and relax. It won’t wear out before you do! Crescendo will continue to deliver the same intense sensations throughout the whole of your play, unlike many other battery-operated devices, which may deliver more intense vibrations only when they have a fresh set of batteries. 

6. Crescendo is fully waterproof and safe for the shower or tub.

Anywhere you can go, Crescendo can go along with you. It’s fully waterproof, with no holes or charging ports that could cause your device to short out if you use it in the water. As a result, you can easily take Crescendo into the shower or tub. This makes Crescendo ideal for use in pelvic floor therapy or when you want to lie back in the warm water and let those vibrations carry you away. Since it’s completely sealed, it’s safe to use either end of the device in your play or to expose the device to water at any point. 

Being fully waterproof also means that Crescendo is easy to clean. You should always clean your vibrator after every session, whether solo or with a partner. Use simple soap and water or purchase a cleaner specifically for your sex toys: either option will ensure that your Crescendo is clean and ready for use in your next session. 

Made of premium silicone, Crescendo is a high-quality product that is safe for insertion and designed to last. Many people question why they would invest in Crescendo when they could choose a less expensive vibrator instead. The answer is simple: you get what you pay for. There is no substitute for the high-quality material and technology that goes into every Crescendo product. Each one is designed to deliver maximum stimulation and pleasure to each user. 

MysteryVibe acknowledges that every body is different–and Crescendo is designed with exactly that in mind. With so many different options to choose from, Crescendo is the ideal vibrator for all your needs. 

Harmony Kinky Sex Tips

Cuddle Therapy Part 1

What is it that you think of when you hear the term ‘cuddling’? Do you think of romantic excitement? Perhaps a warm feeling of security, safety, or contentment. It is probable that some would think of the term as strange, alien, or uncomfortable. But beyond that, what is cuddling?

The act of cuddling, when examined through a literal and secular viewpoint, is the physical, soothing contact between one and another. You can cuddle another person, a pet, an inanimate object, whatever soothes you the most, or a combination of it. There is, however, a certain emotional aspect to cuddling. When one ‘cuddles’ in a soothing way, the act usually generates a sort of inexplicable feeling. A natural comfort, or I could say a sort of contentment. But rather than just an emotional benefit, cuddling provides numerous little quirks and bonuses to those who do so happily.

The most physically visible effect of cuddling regularly, for the sake of enjoyment and contentment, is seen within the balance of a few different chemicals. An article byVanessa Van Edwards, written for the Science of People, explains these three in conjunctions. The main three effects upon hormones within the body are an increase in oxytocin, a reduction in serotonin, and an increase in dopamine. Strange words, so allow me a little of your time to explain.

Oxytocin is a hormone within the body researchers have been frantically researching for the past 20 years upon it’s beneficial effects to the human instinct of social interaction and ‘love’ when administered as a treatment. So far, researchers have concluded the chemical is a major influence upon someone’s proclivity to being social, to forming a bond, as well as the ability to pick up on social cues. Serotonin is a certain chemical that many would appreciate having less, however is still a necessary part of the psyche. Serotonin allows us to form anxious responses, and feel stress in times of… well… stress. Dopamine, a powerful substance, is responsible for pleasure; satisfaction of the self. When you generally feel a sense of having fun, you feel a release of dopamine. It is exciting, but too much for a harmful substance can form a dependance, also known as an addiction. It is best to obtain increases in dopamine through healthy activities such as exercise, cuddling, hobbies, etc.

Do not be ashamed of the desire to cuddle, even when an adult. Cuddling promotes safety, well-being, and good health for all, and even newborns or sick children. It aids in recovery, and helps mental health. When one inhibits the desire for contact, it suppresses these feelings into pent-up stress. This is no different than when told to ‘suck it up’, or denied the ability to release emotion. There is no shame to be had in the relieving contact with another, or another comfortable entity, for it is healing and allows you to perform your absolute best.

What if you do not have a Cuddle Buddy?

Stay tuned to Part 2 of this series on Cuddle Therapy.

5 Ways to Keep Your Long Distance Relationship Spicy

Currently in a long-distance relationship? The reunions are sweet and the goodbyes are awful. But it’s the time between that can really make-or-break your relationship. 

More

Teen Relationships and You

What is a relationship? I’m talking about romantic relationships of course, but the fundamental definition is still not agreed upon by most of those within their definition of a relationship. Further than that, how can a relationship work in the midst of rapidly changing lives in high school, or even beyond that?

I am eighteen years of age, and graduated from High School. I have enjoyed a relationship for three years, and continuing into College. I can’t tell you exactly what will work for your individual tastes and desires out of a romantic bond, but I can tell you what has allowed me to hold onto a rich, fulfilling, and wonderful relationship. 

The key to a relationship is this: talking. Simple, correct? You would be surprised. See, when you are thrown into the transformative, yet strangely merciless, realm of the secondary school, it quickly becomes instinctual in order to close off your emotions and thoughts to the enormous pressure and simply sympathetic classmates. The question becomes, how does one open up properly when you decide to enter a relationship? The main means of this is through sitting your partner, and having a deep discussion upon what the relationship means to each one of you, as well as needs and wants you each have (Notice: Here is where you’ll find most of the ‘red flags’ that would convince you not to build the relationship. An avoidance of talks like these is a definitive ‘red flag’!).

If you don’t understand your partner, there is no substance to a relationship with them, no? After all, the best kind of romantic bonds are those shared with someone you actually understand and respect as a friend, as well as a lover. To achieve this understanding, just actually hang out with them, but not as you think. The key to a good bond is to compromise, and to go out of your way for your partner, to do things they like instead of your own occasionally. This may seem grossly unappealing to most, but this compromise is vitally important to make it work. No two people are the same, and will have different interests. It’s natural, a part of life, but you must acknowledge your and your partner’s interests and enhance them for each other.

One of the largest burdens that most people neglect to realize about these romantic partnerships, is the presence of conflict. Conflict is a necessary evil, something that will always arise and blow up in your face, no matter what steps you undertake in order to avoid it. Whether is miscommunication, lying, annoyance, growing pains, or other, the conflict is going to arise. For that juncture, I have a strategy that always muscles through the conflict, and allows you to simmer off, no matter how bad: take a second to breath, and look at the big picture. Is the argument more important than your relationship with this person? Is the anger worth feeding more so than the love? If the conflict is more important to you, the relationship becomes far less substantial, and ineffective at that. But if you really love them, and you want the bond to work past the issue, then be their friend, lover, and partner. Remind them that you care about them, and that you want to move past. Compromise, cool off, and repair your negativity with fun things you like to do with each other.

The final piece of advice I have is a bit goofy, but has allowed me to realize my priorities and to enjoy life alongside my partner for years, and nurture a love for them that cannot be quelled. I’ve hung my partner’s artwork above my dresser and nightstand. Whenever I wake up, it becomes the first thing I see, and reminds me of their smile. It prompts me to think, as if a mantra of sorts, about how lucky I am and how much I care about that person. I think to myself, “No matter what I do today, I want to make this relationship work.” The advice? Remind yourself, daily, that there’s nowhere in the world you’d rather be than by your partner’s side.

Newness : A Provocative Look at Today’s Open Relationships

So I was watching Newness on Netflix, which is an interesting and provocative taken on open relationships in today’s society.

 

SPOILERS.

 

 

The plot centers around two people that find each other through a dating/ hook
up app. Of course they have sex on the first night and quickly move in with one
another. They have their first huge fight and both end up cheating on one
another. After they discussed their affairs they chose to engage in an open
relationship akin to swinging. Eventually, they stop being transparent with one
another and break apart only to find out they really wanted each other all along
they were just scared to be completely honest with one another for fear of
rejection. In my experience this happen alot with couples. They are afraid to
be openly, almost radically honest, with one another for fear rejection. To me
this is a type of codependency that I am guilt of myself. What if we were
totally honest about our desires, dreams, and needs? What would change in the
relationship? True some individuals cannot handle or are ready for that type of
honesty because it means taking a closer look at themselves. I know when I held
the mirror to my inner self it was hard to face my flaws and what that meant
about me. I have come to terms with my dark passenger/ shadow self and embrace
her like a friend. My flaws, desires, and needs make me the person I am; they
make me whole. To deny that I have those and to hide them is a dis service not
only to myself, but to anyone I chose to love either friend, lover, or family. I
feel this particular movie shows the depths an individual needs to dive into
within themselves to find what they need and the importance of communicating it
to partners. This is just my opinion, please watch the movie for yourself and
form your own thoughts.

Kindness in Anger and Conflict

What place is there for kindness amongst a mire of resentment and fiery anger? How is kindness, such a small effect and action undergone in a habitual manner, such a pivotal force when suffering from conflict with your partner, or even your friend? Kindness, politeness, and caring is of paramount importance when moving through conflict with your partner, and helping to prioritize the relationship rather than the anger or frustration.

In the words Sanaa Hyder, M.S.Ed., “One of the hardest things to do in a relationship is to be nice to your partner when you’re upset with them”. People, without exemption, have an incorrigible tendency to let annoyance, sadness, or other negative emotions twist into resentful anger towards the ones closest to us. It is a burden we all bear, and something that may sometimes complicate the struggles that arise within relationships with each other. There is nothing worse than compounding anger and problems, no? But there are means by which partners overcome this instinct, means in order to show gratitude and kindness in the heat of the argument.

The conundrum can be simplified into three main components of which are outlined by Sanaa Hyder. The first is to think positive thoughts. Strange, but it is necessary. The human mind will subconsciously influence decisions with what the mind prefers to focus upon. Thus, if you maintain a mindset focusing on the negative qualities of your partner, it is a recipe for disaster and attacking those faults when conflict arises.

The second method that is commonly forgotten, or conveniently, is to take responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, actions, decisions, and others effects you have brought about. No one individual is faultless, emotionless, or has nothing to own up to when conflict is thrown in one’s face. When you make a mistake, say something hurtful, or realize something of your emotions, you must take ownership of the factor. This action shows integrity, and willing to admit wrongdoing or regretful actions, rather than lashing out in hot fury.

The final method most may adopt, is to, in the words of Hyde, ‘Let Hope Win’. This statement is vague, so allow me to explain. When someone opens the door for you out of courtesy, yet offers a genuine smile, how is it that you feel? How is that you feel when you partner goes out of their way in order to arrive home early for more quality time? The feeling of warmth and comfort at a partner’s off-handed acts of kindness are what’s a key emotion to remind oneself of. Do not neglect to do these gestures of good faith, even when closeness is at an intolerable level. These acts remind both you and your partner that you care more for each other than the negative anger that plagues you both.

Conflict is unavoidable, inevitable, and there will be most assuredly a time in which it will become uglier than whatever one could imagine. But with good faith in the relationship, with comfort and kindness as a method of affirming your bonds, the anger will not throw a wrench in the bond you and your partner, or partners, have worked endless hours for.

Hyder, Sanaa. “How to Be Kind When You’re Upset With Your Partner.” The Gottman Institute, The Gottman Institute, 27 Dec. 2016, www.gottman.com/blog/how-to-be-kind-when-youre-upset-with-your-partner/.

7 ways to reconnect with your long-term partner

We get so caught up in the pattern of ‘business as usual’ that the romantic connection we once had with our partner starts to get lost.

So, how do we reconnect, and what are the best ways to keep a long-term relationship interesting?

Here are 7 ways you and your partner can strengthen your relationship.

1. Make time for each other

This might seem like an obvious thing to do, but when you’re both so busy it’s an easy one to forget.

Plan some time each week, for just the two of you, and use it to get to know each other better. Whether you end up talking about a good book you’ve just read, or a problem you’re having at work, just by setting aside some time free of distractions like your cellphone, you’ll both feel more connected.

2. Small gestures add up

Don’t forget the little things in your relationship. It doesn’t need to be a big occasion, like an anniversary or Valentine’s Day, to make a romantic gesture.

Doing things like texting your partner while they’re at work just to say you’re thinking of them, or making your partner a cup of coffee in the morning, are small loving gestures that build up over time and don’t require a whole heap of planning.

Plus, those off-the-cuff moments will take you back to the flirtatious days when you first met.

3. Change your routine

While those small, everyday gestures are an easy way to show your partner you love them, changing up your routine can be another way to reconnect.

You could go for a spontaneous meal out, surprise your partner with a nice bottle of wine as a treat, or book tickets to a concert. Doing something a bit different helps to shake up the norm and could be fun to see where an unexpected evening takes you.

4. Learn a new skill together

Learning a new skill can be a great way to boost your confidence later in life. And doing it with your partner will not only make your new hobby easier to stick to; it could help your romantic bond grow stronger.

Whether it’s dance classes, or committing to jogging a 5k, set yourselves a mutual goal that you can support one another towards.

5. Show physical affection

In a long-term relationship, it’s common to feel distant, both emotionally and physically.

One way to overcome this is to make a conscious effort to show each other more affection. If you get in the habit of kissing each other goodbye, or greeting your partner with a hug, that intimacy will help to strengthen your emotional bond.

6. Look after yourself

While making time for each other is important, scheduling in some ‘me’ time is essential to having a healthy long-term relationship. If you don’t feel fulfilled in yourself, it’s more likely you’ll resent your partner’s company and you can’t bring the best version of yourself to the relationship.

Spend some time exploring your own interests, doing things with friends, or working on your health and fitness. Then, you’ll feel more relaxed and ready to spend quality time with your partner.

7. Communicate

Don’t let issues fester. The sooner you address disagreements or feelings of discontent, the sooner you give your partner an opportunity to address those problems.

And, if you find trying to communicate causes arguments, use the rule of three sentences. This works really well when you want to ask your partner to do something, without nagging.

For example, saying, ‘Please can you do the dishes tonight, I’m feeling pretty tired. It would help a lot’ gets your point across, without causing argument.

While every couple is different, it’s more common than you might think for people to drift apart in a long-term relationship. But these are just 7 small ways we think you can help

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5 Ways to Bring More Sensuality into the Bedroom

As your relationship with your partner grows, you may want to add spice and sensuality: something extra special. Sensuality increases your confidence, helping you feel more comfortable in your own skin, as well as increasing your pleasure by engaging all of your senses. Do you want to bring an extra dose of sensuality to your bedroom? Here are a few of our favorite tips: 

1. Invest in bedroom decor that helps enhance all your senses.

When you've been with your partner for a long time, your bedroom decor may become practical and functional, rather than sensual. While your decor doesn't have to be made up solely of red satin sheets and dim lighting, a little effort in your bedroom decor can make a big difference in the sensuality you experience. Try some of these strategies. 

Choose great sheets that help you feel sexy. The type of sheets you want may vary depending on your style: for example, if you love that silky, sexy feeling, sateen sheets can help you slide into bed with a smile on your face. A high thread count and crisp sheets can also have you feeling extra sexy. Choose a set of sheets that you're comfortable sleeping on every night or have a special set of sheets set aside just for those nights when you're hoping for a little extra something special. 

Invest in soft, diffuse lighting. Sure, sometimes, you just need the overhead lighting in your bedroom, but that's not the only light you need. Choose a lamp or other soft light source that will make you feel more confident and sexy. 

Add great scents to your bedroom. Everyone has a scent that makes them feel sexier. If you're not comfortable using candles in the bedroom or don't want to have to worry about getting up to blow out the candles, consider using a diffuser or pillow spray to capture that perfect scent. Try:

  • Vanilla, a sexy and erotic fragrance that can help get you in the mood
  • Ylang ylang, which acts as a potent aphrodisiac
  • Jasmine, which is associated with heightened sensuality
  • Peppermint, which can raise energy levels and increase blood flow

Turn on white noise or soft music. Depending on your distraction level, you may not want music playing while you're in the middle of sex with your partner. White noise, however, can help drown out other sounds from the house, whether it's a movie playing in the living room or a child padding down the hallway to the bathroom for the third time that night. 

Use temperature control devices in the bedroom. You don't have to drive up the temperature in the entire house to warm things up a little in the bedroom in winter or cool them down in summer. Invest in portable units that you can use just in your bedroom to ensure that you can easily create the ideal temperature. 

2. Get to know what you like. 

If you want to feel sexier and enhance sensuality, take the time to get to know what you really like. Your body is unique. You might not like exactly what someone else likes. You may have specific positions and spots that bring you more pleasure or certain types of stimulation that you really love. 

Spend some solo time in the bedroom--a vibrator like Crescendo can help--or experiment with your partner to get a better idea of what really turns you on. As you become more comfortable with your own body, you'll naturally feel more sensual, which will translate into sexy time with your partner. 

Keep in mind, too, that what you like may change as you age and grow. Your hormones will shift, your desires will change, and what you find mind-blowing in your twenties may not be the same thing that brings you pleasure in your thirties or forties. Set aside time to get to know your body and experiment with what you like. You may just learn a few things about yourself that will translate into a higher level of sensuality. 

While you're experimenting with yourself, make time to experiment with your partner, too. One of the most sensual things you can do is genuinely enjoy getting to know your partner's body and learning what brings them pleasure. When you're in bed together, don't just automatically go with your old standbys. Instead, take the time to experiment and explore. Run your hands all over your partner's body, paying special attention to their most sensitive spots. You'll quickly discover new things about your partner and what they like that you can incorporate moving forward. 

3. Get excited about trying something new.

Every sex experience with your partner doesn't have to be mind-blowing and exciting. When you've been with your partner for a long time, you learn that there is often immense intimacy in those quieter, seemingly mundane sex sessions. Sometimes, however, adding a little sensuality starts with trying something new. 

First, sit down with your partner and discuss ideas. Sit close to one another and touch each other as you chat. You'll naturally ramp up the heat in the room and start getting excited about the things that you're eager to try in the bedroom. Consider some of these ideas: 

  • Bring a new toy into the bedroom. Crescendo or Tenuto could be the perfect place to start! Be sure to check out everything you can do with that toy ahead of time so that you're prepared to use it to its full advantage. Talk about what you're looking forward to most or what you'd most like to try together. 
  • Experiment with a new position--or positions. Choose several sessions to experiment with something new, and commit to trying it. If it doesn't work, you can always revert back to your tried and true favorites! We have a great playbook that can help you get started.
  • Commit to a few sessions that aren't about vaginal sex. There are an amazing number of things you can do to bring your partner pleasure without ever actually having sex together, but they often get only a little time during foreplay. Manually stimulate your partner, try oral sex, or use a vibrator, like Crescendo or Tenuto, to add extra stimulation. You'll still get the amazing intimacy of a sexual experience together, but you'll also get to spend more time lingering over your partner and discovering what they really like. 

4. Go on a lingerie shopping spree.

lingerie 

Lingerie shopping is hard, especially as an increasing number of stores move the majority of their stock online. Not only that, many women--and men, for that matter--have no idea what makes them look their sexy best.

Go on a lingerie shopping spree. Let your partner pick out something they would love to see on you. If you order online and it's not what you were hoping for in person, that's okay! The two of you can enjoy some great laughs together and try again next time. If you can get into a physical lingerie shop and try a few things on, let your partner pick out at least half a dozen things for you to try on. Can't model directly? Consider snapping a few pictures with your phone and sending them to your partner to get their opinion. Choose one or two special outfits and bring them into the bedroom to help ramp up the sensuality and have you both feeling (and looking) your best. 

Remember, the woman in your partnership isn't the only one who can dress up in something special. Investing in something extra sexy for him--underwear that hugs his package or fully display his assets, for example--could be a great way to help you get in the mood. 

5. Don't go straight to the genitals.

Want to ramp up the sensuality in your bedroom? Turn out the lights, close the door, and take it slow. Explore your partner's entire body. You may find new erogenous zones--and you'll definitely heighten anticipation and have your partner more excited than ever. Try some of these strategies:

Give your partner a full-body massage. Start with the shoulders and work your way down. As tempting as it is to get caught on by your partner's assets along the way, make sure that you don't get stuck there! Brush lightly over the genital areas and move on, building tension and increasing pleasure along the way.

Massage your partner's feet and legs. After a long day, this is a great way to relax, and is often surprisingly intimate. 

Kiss your way over your partner's entire body. Focus on the areas that you find sexiest. Do you love the curve of her collarbone? That little dip in his shoulder when he's been working out hard? Give yourself permission to explore, caress, and taste. 

Adding sensuality to the bedroom is a process--and much of that process takes place long before you actually enter the bedroom together. With the right tools, however, you can discover enhanced sensuality in the bedroom and a deep connection to one another, not to mention with yourself. Contact us today to learn more about how Crescendo and Tenuto can help enhance your sensuality.