Though there are a few ways that define what gay means, one is more accurate than the others. The more accurate definition of the word gay is someone who is homosexual. It is usually for someone who is a man, though women do use the word to describe themselves. The word was originally used as being carefree or cheerful. The other way the word gets used is that it gets thrown around like it’s nothing, someone might say “That’s gay” or “That’s so gay” when talking about something or even using it as a joke or in a teasing way. To which people don’t realize that using it in that sense can be, and is, hurtful and harmful to people. It also shows that you don’t really care about it or even see it as something that is offensive.
There are offensive things that are done when using the word gay. Saying something along the lines of “That’s gay” can absolutely be one of the most harmful and hurtful ones. Even if the person who said it didn’t mean it that way. There are other ways of saying that you don’t like something or teasing someone without saying that it’s “gay”. The best thing to do is if someone says to not use the word gay in that context because it’s offensive is to first apologize then to not use it in that context again as well as calling someone else out if they use it in that context so that others can stop using it that way.
Everyone who is comfortable with being gay should be able to exist without the issue of someone trying to use the word that one uses to identify themselves as with that same word being used in a derogatory fashion. Just think before saying something, maybe try thinking of word(s) that are offensive to you and how someone else could use that in a derogatory fashion, how would you feel? You’d probably be pretty upset too, so try understanding things from someone else’s point of view.