Power Exchange and BDSM Resources

All of these BDSM resources and organizations are dedicated to positive sexuality and or alternative relationships and sexual identities. Organization descriptions are be pulled from their respective websites. This is not exhaustive and I encourage you to add to the list in the comments and if your organization would like to be included in the list, please email [email protected].


What are Power Exchange Relationships?

A power exchange relationship is a relational dynamic when a partner decides to either give up or get control of authority. Role play and Bondage Discipline Submission Masochism (BDSM) are two basic types. With some care, people can form power exchanges both meaningfully and safely.

What is BDSM?

BDSM: acronym which combines the various types of activates engaged in by Kinky individuals

a) Bondage/discipline: the act of restricting movement and play which involves aspects of punishment
b) Dominance/submission: dynamics which focus on the exchange of power but may not involve S/m or bondage aspects
c) Sadism/masochism: the giving and receiving of pain between consenting partners


Workshops and Class Resources about Kink and BDSM

Free BDSM Class from BDSMContracts.org

Whether you are completely new to BDSM, Dominance and submission, kink and power exchange or you have been in the lifestyle for a while, a BDSM Contract is the best tool to create and guide your dynamic. They offer a free negotiation class.

The reason why I started this website stemmed from my own curiosity and frustrations. I’ve been in a D/s relationship for the past 9 years. I’m also a lawyer. When I was in the early stages of writing our contract, I found it frustrating that there was no generic template I could use, just to start me off. I understand that you can’t have one contract to accommodate all relationships but at least in my profession we use templates to give us a starting point when drafting a document.

It took me weeks to research and come up with appropriate wording for our personal D/s contract. To my dismay, I’m a bit of a perfectionist. I showed it to my close friends who are also in the lifestyle. They loved it and asked me to help them with theirs. They even asked if I would help their friends! Occasionally I draft lifestyle agreements for clients at work. However these are not related to dominance and submission; rather they are vanilla ‘relationship’ agreements. I still keep our lifestyle quiet at work, as I am unsure what the partners would think.

Obey and Honor Wax Seal

When writing their own agreements, I found that a lot of people didn’t know where to start or what to put in their Contract. That is why I created the BDSM Contract template forms with the end user in mind. I initially started with just the pdf document. I also used to make a bound and sealed version. The Contract would be printed on parchment paper, bound and then the cover sealed with wax. The wax seal contained the BDSM logo encircled by the words “Honor and Obey”, which I had custom made. It looked very formal and professional, however it took far too long to put together and after a while I decided to stop offering this option. Instead, I created the BDSM Contract book.

From the beginning, the feedback I received for my Contract templates was very positive. Customers commented how they found the contract useful as a guide to defining their lifestyle, how they enjoyed going through the document with their partner and also the attention to detail and terminology. I was so grateful to see positive feedback. I also received some comments about not being able to edit the whole document, which frustrated some users. With the help of a developer, I spent a lot of time converting the templates into Microsoft Word format to allow changes to be made to the whole document. I hope this makes things a lot easier for you.

Here’s a little spiel about my qualifications. I commenced my law career in January, 2000 with a botique law firm in Australia. I undertook my five year “Articles of Clerkship” (which is a full time legal traineeship) whilst studying full time at university. During this period, my official title at the firm was ‘Articled Clerk’. This is the term used in Commonwealth countries to describe an apprentice in a professional firm.

I completed my law degree with Queensland University of Technology (QUT) and I am admitted as a legal practitioner with the Supreme Court of Queensland. You may find it interesting that as of 2005, Australia no longer offers five year or two year ‘articles’. Legal training is now a one year ‘traineeship’ following your law degree. For those who are interested, I will upload a copy of my degree and solicitor’s certificate soon.


Professional Healthcare Services and Medical Resources

The KINK AWARE PROVIDERS Business Directory was formed to provide a professional online resource, for people living an Alternative Lifestyle. It is comprised of Doctors, Medical Practices, Mental Health Counselors, Psychiatrists, Life Coaches, Lawyers, Financial Planners and Professional Business Service Providers that are experienced with Alternative Lifestyle Practices that include, but not limited to KINK, FETISH, BDSM, POLYAMORY, SWINGING, ETC.

Power Exchange and BDSM Resources

The only Polyamory friendly healthcare service. The monthly family plan includes up to eight members of YOUR identified family.Our entire team uses it for our families.


BDSM Event Directories and Resources

Power Exchange and BDSM Resources

Kinky Events Info is a free event directory sponsored by The Harmony Collective and HarmonyUs Inc. Any and all events related to the LGBTQ+, Sex Positive, and Kink communities are welcome to contribute. Our goal is to offer a safe web space for global community to find, review, and share Sex Positive events. We offer listings for both virtual and physical events.


Books on BDSM

This is not an exhaustive list of the amazing books that are out there. Feel free to add names in the comments or email [email protected]

Basics Guides

50 Shades of Kink, Tristan Taormino (Cleis Press, 2014). This book is a helpful handbook and beginner’s guide to Kinky play and for those who are into impact play but are nervous about safety and protocol.

Assimilation: Tales of Transformation and Surrender, Bootbush (Nazca Plains Corporation, 2012). A collection of stories that discus a variety of BDSM play including water sports and puppy play.

Extreme Space: The Domination and Submission Handbook, F.R.R. Mallory (Unbound Books, 2013). A guide for those who are interested in exploring and owning their sexuality in terms of BDSM and alternative relationships.

Playing Around: A Short Introduction to Kink for the Curious, Charlie Hale (Charlie Hale, 2014). Available for free at http://playingaround.charliehale.net, this book is an easy Kink 101 book for couples interested in just getting the basics down.

Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism, Philip Miller and Molly Devon (Mystic Rose Books 1995). This book is an excellent introduction to BDSM and covers a variety of topics including safety and basic skills.

SM101: A Realistic Introduction, Jay Wiseman (Greenery Press, 1998). An introduction to BDSM including skill, safety, and coming out of the Kink closet.

The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and The Erotic Edge, Tristan Taormino (Cleis Press, 2012). This book is an anthology from Kink educators around the world that covers everything from fantasy play to BDSM play. This is an excellent read for those just starting out because it has a diverse flavor of activities from mild to intense and offers a good exploration of Kinky play and fantasy options.


Contracts and Negotiation

BDSM Rules, Phil G. (2013). This is book is an introductory handbook for examples of rules and protocols negotiated in BDSM contracts.

The Leatherman’s Protocol Handbook: A Handbook on “Old Guard” Rituals, Traditions and Protocols, John, D. Weal (Nazca Plains Corporation, 2012). This book is a handbook for those interested in practicing traditional protocols seen in the leather subculture.

Getting to Yes, Roger Fisher, William Ury, and Bruce Patton (Penguin, 1991). This book is an excellent negotiation resource. It gives the fundamentals and tactics for negotiation and introduces the concepts of need vs. Principle


Play and Scene

As Kinky as You Wanna Be: Your Guide to Safe, Sane and Smart BDSM, Shanna Germain (Cleis Press, 2014). This book is a good KINK 10 to BDSM play with the emphasis in safety and consent.

BDSM Mastery – Basics: Your Guide to Play, Parties, and Scene Protocols, Robert Rubel and M. Jen Fairfield (2014). This is an excellent book for BDSM beginners on navigating the social and play aspects of the BDSM lifestyle.

Bootblacking 101: A Handbook, Andrew Diarmid (Nazca Plains Corporation, 2007). This book is an excellent introduction and resource to understanding the practice and protocols of bootblacking in the fetish and Kink community.

Consensual Sadomasochism: How to Talk About It and Do It Safely, Bill Henkin (Daedalus Publishing Company, 1996). This introduction focuses on defining the language of Kink in an accessible manner.

The Toybag Guide to Dungeon Emergencies and Supplies, Jay Wiseman (Greenery Press, 2004). A quick reference guide for handling emergencies both big and small.


Kink Culture

Sadomasochism: Powerful Pleasures, Peggy J. Kleinplatz and Charles Moser (Harrington Park Press, 2006). A collection of essays by researches in a variety of fields helps to dispel the myths surround SM and those who engage in it. A great read for those interested in BDSM personally as well as mental health professionals, students, and researchers.


Power Exchange Relationships

BDSM Mastery-Relationships: A Guide for Creating Mindful Relationships for Dominants and Submissive, Robert Rubel and M. Jen Fairfield (Red Eight Ball Press, 2015). This handbook is a good resource for the development and nurturing of the power exchange relationship.

Living M/s: A Book for Masters, slaves, and Their Relationships, Dan and Dawn Williams (Nazca Plains Corporation, 2011). This book provides a real life account of living a TPE relationship.

Master/Slave Relations: Handbook of Theory and Practice, Robert J Rubel and Jay Wiseman (Nazca Plains Corporation, 2006). This book offers a good 101 to the power exchange relationship.

Master/Slave Relations: Communications 401, Robert Rubel (Nazca Plains Corporation, 2008). A great guide to increasing communication between partners specifically in power exchange relationships.

Power Exchange and BDSM Resources

For s-Types

Care and Nurture for the Submissive – A Must Read for Any Woman in a BDSM Relationship (Women’s Guide to BDSM), Elizabeth Cramer (Amazon Kindle, 2013). This book is an excellent resource for those who identify as an s-type and are looking for a way to articulate and understand what expectations they may need to negotiate in their power exchange relationships.

The New Bottoming Book, Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy (Greenery Press, 2015). This book is a handbook for those who identify as s-types in power exchange relationships and covers both practical and philosophical discussions.

Protocols: Handbook for the Female Slave, Robert Rubel (Nazca Plains Corporation, 2010). This book is an excellent resource for those s-types to deepen their understanding of protocols and rituals in their power exchange dynamics.


For D-Types

Power Exchange and BDSM Resources

Dom’s Guide to Submissive Training Volume 2: 25 Things You Must Know Before Doing Anything Else, Elisabeth Cramer (2013). This 2nd volume by Cramer to help new D-types grow in their relationships.

Dom’s Guide to Submissive Training Volume 3: How to Use These 31 Everyday Objects to Train Your New Sub for Ultimate Pleasure & Excitement, Elizabeth Cramer (2013). The 3rd book by Cramer which guides new D-types in the use of pervertables in play and training.

Dom’s Guide to Submissive Training: Step-By-Step Blueprint on How to Train Your New Sub. A Must Read for Any Dom/Master in a BDSM Relationship, Elizabeth Cramer (2013). . . This is an excellent resource guide for new D-types in a power exchange relationship who are looking for a guide on mentoring an s-type.

The Loving Dominant, John Warren (Greenery Press, 2000). This book is an excellent resource for those who identify as a D-type in a power exchange relationship but do not hold high sadistic tendencies. This is especially important for those who desire a loving and nurturing D/s.

Miss Abernathy’s Concise Slave Training Manual, Christina Abernathy (Greenery Press, 1998). . . This is an excellent resource guide for new individuals who identify as the d type in a d/s relationship and are looking for a guide on mentoring an s type.

The Mistress Manual: The Good Girl’s Guide to Female Dominance, Mistress Lorelei (Greenery Press, 2000). . . This book is for any women who wants to explore the D-type role within their relationships.

The Submissive Activity Book: Building Blocks to Better Service, Shannon Reilly (Createspace, 2008). A workbook dedication to the growth and learning of s-types who are part of the Leather and BDSM community.


Kink and BDSM Informational Resources

LondonFetishScene Wipipedia

http://wipipedia.org/

Power Exchange and BDSM Resources

The LondonFetishScene Wipipedia is a free source of information about the fetish and BDSM lifestyle, maintained by the community for the community. Anyone can add or edit articles about any area that they feel they have knowledge about or a valid contribution to make. If you see an article that you feel could be improved or has mistakes in it, please feel free to make changes. Click here to find out how to get started. In order to edit articles, we require you to provide a valid email address. This makes vandalism of the site (a common problem with wikis) more difficult; it will not be used for any other purpose or shared with 3rd parties.

If you disagree with the way an article is laid out or you have issues with the content, there is a discussion page where you can voice your opinions.

This is your opportunity to share your knowledge of the scene and to help enrich the lifestyle for us all. If you do want to add to the Wipipedia then please read our Editing policy for guidance on articles.

Submissive Guide

http://submissiveguide.com

Power Exchange and BDSM Resources

Welcome to Submissive Guide — a community where submissive mentoring, self-taught training and BDSM exploration are in focus. We are dedicated to helping submissives understand themselves and the service they wish to provide; from sexual to domestic, personal assistant to pain slut and everything in between. Browse the site for tips, information, and resources to help you improve your personal submission with or without a partner.

Open Minded Health

http://openmindedhealth.com

This is a blog dedicated to gender and sexual minority health issues, research, and news. My name is Rose Lovell. I started Open Minded Health as a way to help the community back when I was a pre-medical student. From 2011 when it was founded to 2018, as I went from my pre-medical education through medical school I was able to dedicate the time to keep it updated. However, when it came to residency (that intense period of training after residency before a physician can practice independently) I did have to take an unintended hiatus.

Now I am reaching the end of my residency training. I can begin to be able to turn my mind to the future. I’m looking forward to being able to bring Open Minded Health back! Look for possible updates in July or August, 2021. Expect some housekeeping on older posts as I gear back up.

Leather Archives & Museum

https://www.leatherarchives.org

The Leather Archives & Museum was founded by Chuck Renslow and Tony DeBlase in 1991 as a community archives, library, and museum of Leather, kink, fetish, and BDSM history and culture. See Plan Your Visit for hours and admission information. 


Kink Social Networks

FetLife is a social networking website that serves people interested in BDSM, fetishism, and kink. On its homepage, FetLife describes itself as “Like Facebook, but run by kinksters like you and me.” The “Fet” in the name refers to “fetish”. FetLife distinguishes itself from competitors by emphasizing itself as a social network rather than a dating site. It is on principle supportive of fringe sexual practices.

Here are just some of the things you can do with your free membership at Kinky Jungle.

  • Create your own personal kinky profile
  • Upload kinky photos to your own kinky photo album
  • Connect with other Kinky Adults, make kinky friends and network
  • Join niche specific kinky and lifestyle groups
  • Create your own kinky community group & invite your kinky friends
  • Participate in kinky groups and kink specific forums
  • Find upcoming kinky events or list your own on the calendar
  • Access sexy members only kinky content
  • Promote your kinky business, kinky website and kinky projects
  • Private Kinky Jungle members messaging system
  • Access and post kinky photos & kinky videos to kinky activity feeds

Explore Kink, Learn About Kink, Share Your Kink and Network!


BDSM and Kink Dating Resources

ALT members find alternative, BDSM, bondage & fetish partners through ALT.com. Connect online and meet in person on live dates. ALT singles, swingers and couples include amateurs, dominatrixes, and mistresses looking for Total Power Exchange. With so many BDSM sites, ALT leads them all with almost TWO million members. Chat with members online, watch videos, view cams and start dating!


Legal BDSM Organizations and Resources

Kinkabuse.com’s focus is primarily for the BDSM community. However we hope to offer educational resources for every community, straight , LGBTQ or kinky, Anywhere there are questions about abuse, we hope to be able to provide some help in getting those questions answered.  As we are located in Utah some of the resources listed are local.  However, we have tried to provide general numbers and links to those who live outside of Utah.

Lambda Legal

http://lambdalegal.org

Lambda Legal, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit, is a national organization committed to achieving full recognition of the civil rights of lesbians, gay men, bisexuals, transgender people and everyone living with HIV through impact litigation, education and public policy work.

National Coalition for Sexual Freedom

https://ncsfreedom.org

The NCSF is committed to creating a political, legal and social environment in the US that advances equal rights for consenting adults who engage in alternative sexual and relationship expressions. The NCSF aims to advance the rights of, and advocate for consenting adults in the BDSM-Leather-Fetish, Swing, and Polyamory Communities. We pursue our vision through direct services, education, advocacy, and outreach, in conjunction with our partners, to directly benefit these communities.

Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and Education Fund

http://sfldef.org

Polyamory, swinging, BDSM and fetishism are among the kinds of sexual and lifestyle choices which may expose adherents to legal problems. We believe that the government should not interfere with consensual sexual expression among adults. We believe that parents should not lose custody of their children just because of the parents’ lifestyle or variety of sexual expression. We believe that people should not face criminal prosecution for consensual sexual acts among competent adults.

Because we believe these things, we are working to provide:

  • Money towards legal and litigation expenses, such as attorney fees and expert witness fees.
  • Referrals to attorneys and expert witnesses knowledgeable about alternative sexual expression and willing to take cases dealing with it.
  • Public information and education about alternative sexual expression.

Transgender Law and Policy Institute

http://transgenderlaw.org

If you have a question about how the law in your jurisdiction affects you, or are looking for a referral, email us here. We work with the Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders (GLAD) in New England to answer legal questions. Please let us know what state you reside in when contacting us, so we can answer your question more effectively and in a timely manner.

If you have information about new laws, regulations or policies affecting transgender people or notice a bad link, please let us know.  These pages are a community effort and we really appreciate your feedback.

If you are considering drafting and/or proposing a state or local anti-discrimination law, Lisa Mottet of the Transgender Civil Rights Project at the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force is available to advise you. Email us here.

If you’ve found the information on these web pages helpful, please consider supporting our sister organization, the Transgender Law Center, whose staff volunteers to help answer the legal queries you send us. If you can, please help out this important institution by giving online here.   You can read more about the Transgender Law Center on their web page here.

Transgender Law Center

http://transgenderlawcenter.org

Transgender Law Center changes law, policy, and attitudes so that all people can live safely, authentically, and free from discrimination regardless of their gender identity or expression.

Transgender Law Center (TLC) is the largest national trans-led organization advocating for a world in which all people are free to define themselves and their futures. Grounded in legal expertise and committed to racial justice, TLC employs a variety of community-driven strategies to keep transgender and gender nonconforming people alive, thriving, and fighting for liberation.

Woodhull Freedom Foundation

http://www.woodhullfoundation.org

Working at the intersection of sexual and human rights.

Established in February 2003, The Woodhull Freedom Foundation is a 501(c)3 non-profit organization devoted to education and public advocacy to achieve recognition of our fundamental human right to sexual freedom. The Foundation offices are located in Washington, DC, and we work in partnership with activists, advocacy organizations and coalitions across the United States fighting the political, social and economic forces driving and expanding sexual repression.

Sexual freedom is defined as the fundamental human right of all individuals to develop and express their unique sexuality. Encompassed within the sexual freedom movement are:

  • Gender and gender identity
  • Sexual orientation
  • Consensual, non-exploitative sexual expression of one’s choice
  • Relationships that extend from all of the foregoing and the rights bestowed upon those relationships
  • Comprehensive sexuality education throughout the lifespan,
  • Sexual and reproductive health/choice/justice.

Building on the affirmations of individual rights contained in the United States Constitution, including the Bill of Rights, and on the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, Woodhull affirms sexual freedom as a fundamental human right.  We believe that broad recognition of sexual freedom will lead to a healthier, more humane society and will liberate individual and group energies to create a more just, compassionate and sustainable world. For this reason, Woodhull, while highlighting the benefits of a shared sexual freedom, human rights agenda works to foster collaborative activities that honor individual advocacies and communities, designs creative initiatives to develop broad public support for sexual freedom, and works to transform these initiatives into public policy.

Woodhull carefully cultivates and works to engage allies from all social, economic, religious* and cultural justice communities interested in affirming sexual freedom.  We strive to harness the energy of and join with the LGBT, women’s liberation, comprehensive sex education, polyamory, and related movements to bring existing energy to bear on sexual freedom as an additional opportunity for shared discourse and political, cultural and social change.

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