Meaning of Gay

Though there are a few ways that define what gay means, one is more accurate than the others. The more accurate definition of the word gay is someone who is homosexual. It is usually for someone who is a man, though women do use the word to describe themselves. The word was originally used as …

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Swinging and Polyamory Resources

All of these open relationship and polyamory resources are dedicated to supporting positive sexuality and or alternative relationships and sexual identities. Websites and organization descriptions are be pulled from their respective websites. This is not exhaustive and I encourage you to add to the list in the comments and if your organization would like to be included …

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Sports and Sexuality

Within the sports world, sexuality is something that is now being discussed more than ever. It might have something to do with more athletes coming out. It’s also more prevalent in women’s sports than men’s sports. Women vs Men in the Community It’s often women athletes who are open about being part of the LGBTQ+ …

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Primal Scream Therapy … Pseudoscience or Genius?!

primal scream

Have you ever screamed … out loud?  Not sitting in grid-locked traffic, not at your partner arguing over who locked the keys in the car, but a raw, guttural, agonizing scream that came from somewhere deep inside you, that you have become totally disconnected from?  A scream so jagged and saturated in pain, that the very release of it left you completely numb and void of every other human emotion?  It felt almost PRIMAL! 

This release leaves you utterly spent … standing in what is only the whispers of repressed emotions, rage and pain that you had buried deep for years. 

While there is an endless array of therapies that have been long accredited and recognized for their success in helping patients deal with repressed emotions and pain, connected to traumatic childhood events, Primal Scream Therapy is one I had not heard of till only recently.  And it has me intrigued as heck!

For every therapist who praises it, there are those who oppose it and want to debunk it, labelling it as pseudoscience. 

What is Primal Scream Therapy

Primal Scream Therapy was created by Dr. Arthur Janov in the late 1960’s and was publicly introduced in the 1970’s with his book The Primal Scream

While most psychologists can agree, at least to some extent, that mental illness can often be the result of, or associated with unresolved, traumatic childhood pain, that tends to be where the cordial conversation ceases. 

Janov claimed that this trauma and pain can be healed, by allowing a patient to re-experience those incidences and that pain FULLY.   And in that safe environment ,feel those emotions and release that pain through spontaneous, unrestrained and oftentimes intense screaming, yelling and sobbing. 

Seems to me that releasing deep pain has tremendous potential to heal, rather than swallowing emotional bile for years.

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Be As Loud As You Want With The Scream Box … No One Will Know!

scream

What is a Scream Box? When is the last time you let out a massive scream?  I mean a raw, guttural, emotionally charged & intense scream!  The kind that leaves you with sweat on your brow, your skin tingling with electricity and ultimately, totally emotionally spent?!  Yeah … THAT kind of scream!  Felt good right?  Correction … it felt freaking amazing!

Scream Box Therapy

What is it about screaming that feels so good?  Well, I can only speak for myself, but this loud vocal exertion of emotion is incredibly cathartic and healing.  I mean, c’mon … how much can I, or anyone for that matter, be expected to keep bottled up inside, without eventually exploding all of THAT out?!  It’s a serious question and one I really want you to think about.

There plenty of research to support screaming as a credible therapy, to deal with trauma, pain, anger, anxiety, fear, etc.   For many people it simply works … and well.

The problem with screaming out loud as an emotional and therapeutic release is that, unless you have a place to go and do this that is private and/ or safe to do so, you really can’t.  And heaven forbid you just say F**K IT and scream yourself senseless … you have about 6 minutes before law enforcement is showing up on your doorstep with A TON of questions!

Solutions!!!

This is where a scream box can be your saving grace.  The scream box allows you to be as loud, as raw and as intense as you need to be.  The beauty in the design is that it stays within your own space.  And trust me … I’ve tested this out.  I live in a small apartment complex and not once did anyone show up at my door thinking I’d been brutally attacked.

The scream box?  Honestly … it’s a great tool to just let it ALL OUT!

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Buddha Board Therapy

buddha board

What is Buddha Board Therapy? When is the last time you did anything that was intentional in helping to soothe yourself?  Be honest here!  And I’m not talking about going out and letting off steam … I’m talking about truly and authentically taking some action in doing something that actually helped to ‘bring you back to center” calmly, peacefully and left feeling like, well …. “Ahhhhh.”

One of the biggest gifts that you can give yourself in the art, yes I said art, of intentional self-soothing practices, is allowing yourself to completely LET GO!  Maybe not for days or even hours, but in that moment, any moment where you really need to disconnect from all the buzz and BS of the outside world … doing something that allows you to reconnect to a calmness inside you is truly, a gift.

I’m always on the hunt for things that can get me to this place.  I’ve tried literally hundreds of different things … apps on my phone, mind-focussed games, white noise machines, knitting and of course meditation.  I have to tell you, the one thing I’ve learned is that I completely SUCK at meditating.  Which left me feeling disappointed and like I failed at something that all of us should be able to do.

And meditation was the one thing I wanted to be good at because it can be done anywhere in only a few minutes if that is all you have.  But it just wasn’t working for me.

The Solution!

And then I found it … Buddha Board Therapy!  And life changed!  No seriously … it changed.  This unassuming little escape from all the fuckery of life comes in a compact size that fits in my purse.  So anytime, anywhere, I can pull out my little buddha board and stroke myself to inner peace and letting go of what I don’t need to carry with me.

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Maintaining Mental Health During Covid-19

health

As we continue to face the COVID-19 pandemic it is vital that we pay attention to mental health. Over the course of the pandemic, fear, uncertainty, anxiety, sadness, grief and depression have become common place. Not only are individuals worried for their physical health and that of their loved ones, they may also be experiencing financial instability, isolation due to social distancing and quarantine measures, or perhaps a sense of hopelessness. It is important to make some adaptations while we hope for brighter and safer days ahead. Doing so can greatly improve and protect your mental health.

Tips For Improving and Maintaining Mental Health During Covid-19:

Ask for Help and Seek Mental Health Support

It can be really challenging to reach out and ask for help when you are struggling. While it may not feel comfortable, asking for help when you need it is the most important tip on this list. Asking for help can start small with things like asking a partner to assist you with a task around the house when you feel overwhelmed. Asking for help may also mean contacting a mental health professional for professional mental health support.

Most importantly, if you are experiencing a mental health crisis, or fear that you may, ask for help by utilizing mental health crisis lines and support networks. Here are some crisis lines that you can keep handy:

  • National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1- 800-799-7233
  • National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
  • The Trevor Project: (Provides crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to LGBTQIA+ individuals under the age of 25.) 1-866-488-7386 or text “START” to 678678.
  • Veterans Crisis Line: https://www.veteranscrisisline.net
  • SAMHSA’s National Helpline- (Provides treatment referral and information for individuals and families facing mental health or substance use disorders.) 1-800-662-4357
National Helpline
National Helpline

Stay Social

Social distancing measures, while working to keep us safe and protect our health, have left many people feeling isolated and lonely. It is important to maintain social contact as best as you can during this time. Here are some ideas for staying socially connected, while socially distanced:

  • Talk to your friends and family and determine a day and time that is open for everyone. Schedule a weekly video chat to catch up.
  • Find online virtual gaming spaces where you can play games with your friends or family online together. Set up a weekly game night.
  • Where you would normally text, try calling where you are able to instead, so you can have more of a socially connected conversation.
  • Have themed video call “parties”. You and your friends or family can dress up according to the theme, and show off your outfits during the video call. This can be a fun way to get out of your typical routine and comfort zone!

Limit News Intake

It is important to stay informed during this time, to make sure you are taking the proper steps to keep you and your loved ones safe and healthy. However, the constant influx of COVID-19 news can leave you feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and depressed. Limit your news intake if possible by setting a designated amount of time per day, perhaps one hour, to catch up on news. Receive your COVID-19 important news and updates directly from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) website, as opposed to watching lengthy news presentations. Limiting your news intake, can be really beneficial to your mental health.

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Help! My Parents Found Out I am into BDSM

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Is Kink Healthy?

is kink healthy

Kink is Very Healthy! The Psychological community, outside of those who specialize in sex therapy, is notorious for viewing Kink and BDSM related activities as a pathology (Ortmann and Sprott,). Even the current DSM-5 stipulates that Sadism and Masochism are considered fetishistic and paraphilia and implies that these behaviors are dangerous or pathological. This makes it challenging for kinky …

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Evolution of Kink into Sex Culture: An Introduction

culture

Sexual Culture Norms Western sexual, relationship, and gender norms have evolved with the turn of the 21st century. The Western world, which encompasses Europe, North America, and South America, has been influenced in the past several centuries first by the Roman Catholic Church and more recently by Victorian England. Due to British colonization, India, parts …

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